Joke # 1: Sa panliligaw ni Erap, mahili g siyang sumulat ng coded love messages tulad ng:

ITALY - I truly adore and love you

SASAYA - Stay as Sweet as you are

Para lalong bumilib and kanyang nililigawan, sinikap niyang gumawa ng ‘love letter’ na gamit ang alphabet:

ABC - Always be careful

DEF - Don’t Ever forget

GHI - Go Home Immediately

JKLM - Just Keep Loving Me

NOPQRSTUVW - No One Perfectly Quite Romantic Should Treat U Very=2 0Well Napa-whew at pinagpawisan si Erap. Tatlong titik na lang and natitira…XYZ.

Pinag-isipan ito nang husto ni Erap. Makalipas ang oras, napangiti siya at pinalakpakan ang kanyang sarili bago sinulat ang:

XYZ - Xee You Zoon!!

Joke #2: FRIES

Kumain sa isang sosyal na restaurant sina Erap at FVR. ‘Give me Swiss Steak and French Fries’ order ni FVR sa ingles.

‘And you Sir? tanong ng waiter.

‘The same, Give me sweepstake and first prize, too’ sagot ni Erap.

Joke #3: GROUP

Erap was asked if a group of birds is called a flock of bird, and a group of fish is called a school of fish, and a group of wolves is called a pack of wolves, then what do you call a group of dogs?

Erap: Madali lang yan, anong akala ninyo sa akin tanga! Di anser is ‘asociation’ .

Joke #4: BRIDGE

Nagpunta si Erap sa England at nag-meet sila ng prime minister.

Habang kumakain, nagtanong ang prime minister.

‘Is San Juanico Bridge the longest bridge in the Philippines ?’

‘Yes,’ mabilis na sagot ni Erap saka biglang nag-isip ng maitatanong din, ‘Ah… Is London Bridge falling down?’

Joke #5: ANONG GATAS?

‘Ang gatas ko noong baby ako, Lactum,’ kuwento ni Marcos sa ibang presidente.

‘Ah ako, Enfalac, ‘yun ang mahal, eh,’ sagot ni Cory.

‘Ako, Lactogen, kaya ganito ako katalino,’ sabi ni Ramos.

‘Ikaw, Erap, ano ang iniinom mo noon?’ tanong ng tatlo. ‘Ano yata Lactacyd.’

Joke #6: ALLEGATIONS

In a cabinet meeting ERAP (galit na galit) :

THERE HAS BEEN A LOT OF ALLEGATIONS THESE DAYS AND I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW WHO THE ‘ALLIGATORS’ ARE.

Joke #8: SAVE

FVR, Cory and Erap, are about to be executed in front of a firing squad. Each of them is blindfolded and given the chance to call upon the forces of nature to save them. The executioner starts the countdown: ‘10, 9, 8,….’.

FVR shouts, ‘Flood!’. In a sudden, a big wave came. FVR was able to escape because of the commotion.

It’s Cory’s turn. She shouts: ‘Earthquake! ‘. The people watching the execution panicked. She was able to escape.

Erap was wondering what calamity to call. The executioner started counting again: ‘10, 9, 8, 7….’. Erap had a mental block. ‘5, 4, 3, 2, 1…’

Erap shouted: ‘Fire!’.

Joke #9: ERAP IN LIBRARY

Erap in Library

‘What time does the library open?’ Erap on the phone asked.

‘Nine A.M. ‘ came the reply. ‘And what’s the idea of calling me at home in the middle of the night to ask a question like that?’

‘Not until nine A.M.?’ Erap asked in a disappointed voice.

‘No, not till nine A.M.!’ the librarian said.

‘Why do you want to get in before nine A.M.?’

‘ha, who said I wanted to get in?’ Erap sighed sadly. ‘I want to get out!’

Joke #10: IN LABOR

One particular day many years ago, Erap’s wife was having labor pains.

Erap panicked so he called their doctor.

Erap: Hello, doc. My wife is in labor!

Doc: Is she in a lot of pain?

Erap: Yes, doc!

Doc: Is this the first baby?

Erap: No, doc. This is Erap!

Joke #11: ANOTHER EXAMPLE

Teacher: (talking to ERAP) Can you give me an example of a beast of burden?

ERAP: Carabao, ma’am! Teacher: Very good, ERAP. Can you give another example?

ERAP: How about another Carabao?

Joke #12: TESTING

As Erap’s Driver test drive it.

Driver to Erap: Sir, pweding pakitingin kung umiilaw yung parking light as driver switches on the parking light)

Erap: OK, its ON! Gumagana.

Driver: Sir, yung headlights, umiilaw ba? (as driver switches on the headlights)

Erap: OK rin, its ON! Gumagana.

Driver: Sir yung signal light pakitingin? (as driver switches on the signal light)

Erap: Gumagana, ay ayaw, ay gumagana, ay ayaw, ay gumagana, ay ayaw…….

Joke #13: WA CLASS

Reporter to Erap alighting from a PAL flight: ‘Mr. President, what can you say about the economy?’

Erap: ‘I don’t know, kasi nasa first class ako.’

Joke #14: KAMUKHA DAW

Jingoy: Dad, sabi nila pagnakaharap ako kamukha ko si Jose Rizal, pag-nakaside view kamukha ko naman si Manuel Roxas. Anong ibig sabihin yon?

Erap: Mukha kang pera.

oke # 15: THE WIFE

Sa isang party. Sabi ng isang Ambassador to Erap, ‘I haven’t met your wife. Where is she?’

Napadaan si First Lady Loi. Sabi ni Erap, ‘Oh, my wife just passed away.’

Joke #16: CEASEFIRE

ERAP to MILF : Sumuko na kayo!

MILF: Di kami susuko pag di mo maispel ang CEASEFIRE.

ERAP : Tama na! Tuloy ang giyera.

Joke #16: AIR PRESSURE

Pa-landing na ang presidential plane. Napansin ng stewardess na parang sumasakit ang tenga ni President Erap dahil sa air pressure kaya lumapit ito.

‘Sir, chewing gum para hindi sumakit ang tenga ninyo sa flight,’ sabi ng stewardess.

Tinanggap ni Erap ang chewing gum. Ilang sandali pa, lumapag na ang eroplano. Kinausap ni Erap ang stewardess.

‘Miss, paano ko tatanggalin ang chewing gum sa tenga ko?’ tanong nito.

Joke #17: PASALOAD

ERAP: Loi, pasahan mo nga ako ng 2 my importante lang akong itetext. ~ LOI: (P2 send)

ERAP: (message received) OK!! got it thanks! ~

LOI: Tanga! wag ka ng magreply, Sayang!! ~

ERAP: ok!

Joke #18: INFORMATION

Erap: Hello, I will like to inquire how long is the flight to San Francisco ?

Operator: Just a minute sir…

Erap: Thank you! (klik).

Source: Pinoyjokes.net